Rushing Woman

If not rushing (insert busy/stressed) then what………?

What would my life look like?
How would I move through the world?
Who would I be? 
How would others see me?
What would I feel?

Is my life conditional, on the conditional approval of others?
Why not make my life a truth of who I am.
Not an adrenaline junkie looking for a high.
But where does that leave me….vulnerable?

If not rushing then…..

I’m lost.
I’m a failure.
I’m not enough. 
I’m not important .

If not rushing then what……?

I breathe, I sleep, I rest.
I feel my body, I feel the aches and pains, 
But also the softness, warmth and stillness.
I see the look of anguish on my daughters face and her moments of sheer beauty.
Just love me, don’t fix me in your ideal she says.

I smell the food, I taste the food, I feel it journeying inside me.
I see the swallow swoop to the lawn for a feather to build its nest,
And the grass dying for water.
I feel the warmth of the sun on my back,
While my work lies unfinished.
I am here, I am alive.

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